We’ve all been there.
You know something needs to be said but you don’t want to be the one to say it.
Just rehearsing the script in your mind makes your chest tighten, stomach knot and every word gets stuck in your throat. You play out every scenario and response possible just to be prepared for the worst outcome. We all need someone to hold our hand sometime. You’ve come to the right place when seeking out support for having hard conversations.
Yet, the only way to be truly prepared is to face it all head on.
Despite knowing most of the things we stress over won’t ever come to pass, our nervous systems cling to every possibility hoping to make us feel “ready” for whatever lies ahead. Yes, these spirals we find ourselves falling into are our nervous system’s way of protecting us. When difficult scenarios pop up that cause our nervous system to sense familiar dangerous patterns, it sends a signal to our brains setting off alarms to find a way to avoid the hurt, rejection, disappointment, etc.
While these defenses mechanisms are created with our best interest at heart, they ultimately stunt our growth.
The only way to help get better at sharing our truth is to do it.
Avoiding confrontation and difficult conversations just helps reinforce to our nervous systems that it’s still not safe for our voices, desires and needs to be heard. Although we know that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Leaning into difficult conversations in a levelheaded manner always leads to forward movement, whether that’s progressing a relationship, ending one, creating boundaries, or simply laying your cards on the table. Every time we take a chance and face tough talks, we free up more room in our minds, hearts and spirits to move on empowered.
So how do we find the strength to begin speaking our minds confidently? We start by believing in our truth so much so that the only choice is to set it all free. It is only once we feel firmly rooted in our beliefs, our needs, and our worthiness that we can begin finding the perfect words to communicate with love.
For those of us with a hard conversation ahead, here are some of our favorite resources for freeing your truths. These quotes, books, and meditations will help you remember your innate worth and strength. And after reclaiming those parts of yourself, anything is possible!
Quotes on Truth and Believing in Yourself
(For that extra OOMPH in support for having a hard conversation)
“No legacy is so rich as honesty.” —William Shakespeare
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” — Alice Walker
“Life is too short to waste any amount of time on wondering what other people think about you. In the first place, if they had better things going on in their lives, they wouldn’t have the time to sit around and talk about you. What’s important to me is not others’ opinions of me, but what’s important to me is my opinion of myself.”
― C. JoyBell C.
“Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.” ―Leonardo da Vinci
“Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.” ―Mahatma Gandhi
“What is the source of our first suffering? It lies in the fact that we hesitated to speak. It was born in the moment when we accumulated silent things within us.” ―Gaston Bachelard
“Let’s tell the truth to people. When people ask, ‘How are you?’ have the nerve sometimes to answer truthfully. You must know, however, that people will start avoiding you because, they, too, have knees that pain them and heads that hurt and they don’t want to know about yours. But think of it this way: If people avoid you, you will have more time to meditate and do fine research on a cure for whatever truly afflicts you.”
― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter
Books to Ease Conflict
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, Roger Fisher
High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out by Amanda Ripley
The Mindful Guide to Conflict Resolution: How to Thoughtfully Handle Difficult Situations, Conversations, and Personalities by Rosalie Puiman
Self-Empowerment for Women: Supercharged Self-Worth Secrets & Insider Mind Hacks to Crush Depression & Anxiety (Spiritual Growth & Self-Awareness by Angela Grace
Meditations for Tough Conversations