Balancing Ambition and Well-Being

“there is strength in your softness” —Dhiman

 Imagine…

You have a job in your field of choice. You work at a mission-driven organization. You enjoy your responsibilities and have a sense of fulfillment at the end of each day. Your contributions are valued and are in line with your professional goals.

Not only that, but this job is not all-consuming. You have plenty of flexibility which allows for margin in your schedule to pursue your life-giving hobbies of gardening, reading, and meditation.

You’re also not crunched for time when it comes to self-care. You’re able to craft regimens for skin and hair care in the morning and step away from the computer in the afternoons for Pilates or yoga.

This enviable scenario is an illustration of soft ambition. Idyllic, no? Believe it or not, this dream is becoming a reality for many women in the workforce.

 What is Soft Ambition?

Soft ambition is the art of pursuing professional and personal goals equally without allowing one to eclipse the other. Another way to think about it is ambition without the hustle culture. All too often, jobs are prioritized above all else. It’s understandable. What would we do without paychecks, insurance, and a plan for a worthwhile career?

However, life is multi-faceted and should be treated as such. A healthy and happy personal life shouldn’t be sacrificed in the name of success.

A Liz Lemon mentality has settled upon workforce women and hasn’t budged in a couple of decades.

“I can do it! I can have it all!”

While I love Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon character, doing/having it all (though possible) doesn’t mean it’s necessarily worth it. Many women, including myself, have taken pride in a booked schedule, hitting career milestones, and the constant “shopping” for that next project. It’s a high! I’d be lying to say otherwise.

Yet, hustle culture never quite delivers on all of its promises. In fact, it often leads to toxic productivity which leaves us feeling depleted and disillusioned.

Many women have made this realization and opted for soft ambition as a rebellion against striving to do it all.

“I don’t want to be a girlboss, I don’t want to hustle, I simply want to live my life slowly and lay in a bed of moss with my lover and enjoy the rest of my existence, reading books and creating art and loving the people in my life.”-Mia Jones, digital creator.

Soft ambition got its start in the midst of Covid, when the Great Resignation occurred in the U.S. Interestingly, this movement was led by women…who were more likely to be laid off during this time (insert knowing eyeroll here). We’ll just keep chipping away at the glass ceiling, I guess 😑.

This gave way to the Age of Anti-Ambition, where quiet quitting became the norm. Now, the reaction against anti-ambition is cultivating ambition but with softness. The objective is balance between aspiration, rest, and creativity. Building, but gently. Thriving without burnout.

How to Stay Ambitious Without Burnout

All too often, it seems we have a choice: ambition or a soft life. Let me assure you, the beauty of soft ambition is that it allows ample space for both.

The first step in soft ambition, which happens to be the first step of combatting burnout, is defining success on your own terms.

Our culture is always ready to offer very specific monetary, relational, and professional thresholds to determine one’s success. Soft ambition is about resisting rigid societal success standards and reimagining a more wholistic success.

Try the following writing exercise to discover your version of success:

Part 1: Freewrite what your ideal life looks like.

Through that lens, answer questions like:

• Where do you live?
• What kind of job do you have?
• What is your self-care routine?
• What are your health and wellness goals?
• Who are your friends?
• How much time do you spend with your family members?
• Where are you travelling?
• What organization do you support or volunteer for?
• What are your spiritual practices?
• In what ways are you expressing your creativity?

Part 2: Now, streamline your ideal life.

Go back through and circle the 3-5 things that are most valuable to you. Now, freewrite what life would look like prioritizing those 3-5 things.

Reflect on your answers. What do you notice?

When I’ve conducted this writing exercise with others, the typical observation is that part 1 seemed great on the surface. However, in light of completing part 2, part 1 seemed cluttered and unrealistic.

In part 2, life was simple, unhurried, and healthy. Also, contentment was fully possible with less, which is a completely countercultural idea. Good! Our hope is to go against the grain of hustle culture, read burnout culture.

“We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to do’ list.”—Michelle Obama

Once you’ve established a new version of success—your version—try some additional methods of burnout recovery for creatives:

• Set boundaries- Determine how many hours you wish to work per week and how many hours you wish to devote to your personal life. Learn to say no to whatever might infringe upon those boundary lines. Remember, time is a precious, limited resource and it must be guarded.
• Stress management- Stress is inevitable, but dealing with it as it comes will diffuse it rather than allowing it to compound. Create and adhere to a regular self-care routine. Exercise. Try new things. Talk with your therapist. Exercise some more.
• Communicate- Keep your supervisor or boss informed about your work/life balance goals. Be respectful, but firm. Typically, leaders will appreciate the transparency and do their best to respect those boundaries. Also, confide in family and friends. They’ll help keep you in check.
• Rest- Put laptops and phones away and get a full night’s rest EVERY evening. Try to knock out your to-do list during the week so that weekends are purely for recharging. And, for the love, take time off! Your loved ones, co-workers, and, yes, your work will thank you for bringing a refreshed you to the table.

In short, cultivate a rich life to fall back on should your career shift or if you need to press pause.

Some feel that softness equates to laziness. Let’s debunk that real quick. Softness is active and it’s actually already a part of the productivity equation. It’s just been tamped down and ignored for too long.

Softness energizes and inspires. Contrary to popular belief, it enhances productivity by making it more enjoyable and efficient.

Emotional & Creative Wellness Tips

It cannot be stressed enough: mental health for young professionals is a must! Check out some ways to keep tabs on this vital aspect of your being:

• Outline a “soft schedule” with non-negotiable rest
• Use poetry or music for emotional check-ins
• Try non-performative hobbies (something you do just for you)
• Take walks, take naps, and create “low-energy” creative routines
• Set goals with intention, not obsession
• Journal. Journal.
• Embrace seasonal productivity (different paces at different times)
• Make space for creation. Everyone is an artist! Create something to combat consumer culture

Books Embracing Softness

The Book of Alchemy: A Creative Practice for an Inspired Life – Suleika Jaouad

Lean Learning: How to Achieve More by Learning Less – Pat Flynn