As I watch The Holiday for the millionth time, a brand new question hits me.
Let’s talk about it.
If you haven’t seen the movie, you have to. A Christmas rom-com with Kate Winslet and Cameron Diaz? What’s not to love! In true rom-com fashion, both women find their true love and everyone’s problems magically disappear. Which leads me to this question. Why are we often told that a happy ending has to include finding “the one”? Let’s find some confidence and a whole lot of comfort in being alone.
With the holiday season and Valentine’s Day kicking off each new year, those of us who aren’t in the happiest of relationships often start our New Year feeling more alone than we’d care to admit. But while I watch Kate Winslet fall helplessly in love with the wrong man, I remember each time I courageously walked away from what wasn’t meant for me. Whether it was a shallow conversation at a bar or a love that no longer felt quite right, allowing room for endings has never been the wrong choice.
We’re shown over and over again that leaving doomed relationships is good for us because we find “the one” shortly after. Even as children we learn that Cinderella got her happy ending because a prince popped up to take her away. What if there was a different ending? What if Cindy’s story ended with “and she lived happily ever after, in her one-bedroom, rent-controlled apartment downtown”?
The point is your happily ever after can include whatever and whomever feels right to you! The post-holiday blues make it so easy to feel like you’re falling behind or doomed to be alone forever. I’m sure we’ve all been there, myself included. But single doesn’t mean “broken” or “wrong”. It can mean whatever you decide!
For some of us, single means healing and reconnection. For others it could mean freedom, safety, or just fun!
Your happily ever after can look however you want it to!
Whether you’re currently solo happily, unhappily or looking for a little push to venture out on your own, here are some of our favorite tools for healing your heart and creating comfort in being alone this post-holiday season!
For the Happily Solo
Invictus by William Ernest Henley
Self Love by Lang Leav
Myself by Edgar Guest
For the Healing Hearts
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
Love After Love by Derek Walcott
Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
For Those Hoping to Walk Away
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Acceptance by Rupi Kaur
Self by James Oppenheim